What an Order


Adapted from the book Alcoholics Anonymous
© 1939, 1955, A.A. World Services, Inc.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! We can’t go through with it. Our love is lost, our vows forever violated, our communication destroyed, our families broken beyond repair.”

Do not be discouraged. No couple among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints, our love is not perfect, our energy not unbounded, nor our relationships ideal. There is no such thing as the ultimately caring and nurturing partner or perfect intimacy. The point is that we are willing to grow together along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. In our spirituality we claim the goal of greater caring, communication, and intimacy.

Our understanding of our addictions, dysfunctions, and our personal histories before and after recovery make clear three pertinent ideas:

  1. That our relationship had become unmanageable. That despite our best efforts we were headed for separation and/or divorce.

  2. That probably no human power could have restored us to commitment and intimacy.

  3. That God could and would if God were sought.


© 1991, 2011 by the World Service Organization for Recovering Couples Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.